He used to come round and corner my mum in the kitchen yelling abuse at her.By this time my little brother was born and I would run upstairs with him trying to tell him it'd be okay while my oldest brother would try and pull my dad off my mum." (Jay's Story) "I've been in the same room before when they were arguing and he kicked her in the stomach and she went flying into the computer desk and her mouth was bleeding.Physical abusers use their abusive behaviors to try to control their victims.More info on: Physical and Emotional Abuse Usually Travel Together.But she wanted to stay for me, my brother and sister.Until it got to January 2012, when she decided enough was enough. She rarely says right out that she thinks you're inadequate.She'll spoil your pleasure in something by simply congratulating you for it in an angry, envious voice that conveys how unhappy she is, again, completely deniably.
These issues of trust can spill over into other relationships, even close ones.
I've had to run in the middle of them before when he's gone to attack her." (Zena's Story) A common feeling amonst parents is that it is somehow better to stay together for the sake of the children, but as Zena makes clear, for children witnessing domestic violence, they would often prefer separation and an end to the 'trouble'.
"I used to plead to her for years for her to leave him.
She's very secretive, a characteristic of almost all abusers ("Don't wash our dirty laundry in public!
") and will punish you for telling anyone else what she's done.