Before approaching your victim - sorry, target - no, err, imminent conversational partner, don't keep nervously looking at them as if they are a small pool at the bottom of a huge dive you're about to take. You're not 'taking the plunge' or risking everything; you're just being sociable. In this way, you initiate conversation by getting them to speak. If we don't light a fire in the right way, it may not take - and it's the same with conversation.
Research shows people will likely want to talk to you if you are smiling. Keep it going by asking open questions that require more than a yes/no answer. "Stranger: "Yes..."You: "That's cool...really....." [nervously look at watch]Hopefully, they'll say more than just 'yes'; but just to make sure, ask them a question that opens up the conversation: You: "Jenny chose this place tonight; I really love this bar. "Unless they're totally closed to conversation (in which case, move on; you deserve better), they'll give you a much more detailed response than a yes or no. Imagine watching a James Bond movie that showed our suave super-spy being put on hold for half an hour whilst trying to phone someone at his bank, followed by an hour's shopping in the high street. We don't want all the mundane detail; we want to see the good bits.
Whether it's at a dinner party, at your school, or over the phone, good conversations start when two or more people feel comfortable talking with each other.
There are several steps you can take to learn to relax and have a great conversation with practically anybody.
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Meet the experts: Sarah Jones is a relationship expert, and founder and CEO of coaching website Introverted Alpha, and Sameera Sullivan is the CEO of Lasting Connections, an elite matchmaking service. "This is a great ice-breaker because it's a little mischievous and flirtatious," Jones says."What's the best movie/book/meal you saw/read/ate in the past year?" A specific question about something someone will remember with fondness is a lot more interesting to answer than, "How's your week going? Based on a not at all peer-reviewed study, 90 percent of people using online dating apps are bored out of their minds. You're the princess, he's the prince, and you call out to him: "Oh, won't some hero come save me from this stifling castle keep!" Also, maybe you also loved that book/movie/food item, and now you guys have something in common and are going to be watching Foreign Thrillers with Strong Female Leads together forever! " It's a little unorthodox, but anything's better than "Sup?Learning About Basic Conversation Starters Extending the Conversation Pushing Boundaries Conversation Help Community Q&A Even if you're good with people, there are likely times when you're stuck for something more to say and start wondering what topic to bring up next.