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    I finally called out of desperation, hoping he wasn’t hot. We danced around our mutual attraction for a few months, and eventually gave in. ” I started to realize how much of a recluse I’d become over the past couple years.

    We both didn’t want a relationship, but after a few weeks, I started to have feelings for him, and he’d made it clear he didn’t want to be involved with anyone. A few days later, I sat with some girlfriends over lunch, and told them my painful tale. I thought that by being single for all of that time, I’d been taking an opportunity to work on myself, get comfortable with being alone, and enjoy my life without a partner until I was ready to date again.

    Even with my friends’ willingness to help out with child care, every night out was a scramble to set up who could watch my kids and when I had to be home by their bedtime. My older daughter was away for a few days after Christmas, and he asked me to go out of town with him. I needed so desperately to get a break from my day-to-day life of working at home. “I gave him an out,” I said to my friend a couple of days later while wallowing through the sixth season of “Parenthood.” “Why did you give him an out? I wanted to escape for an hour or two in between some flirty distractions without worrying about whether he’ll be a supportive, healthy, future partner. I had two very real kids at home who came first, took up most of my time and energy, and I didn’t have much to give.

    We all deserve a second chance at a lasting relationship.

    The youngest had been kicked out of two child-care centers on account of her screaming the entire time I was gone.

    When my friend suggested a babysitter who was a male, I hesitated.

    I don’t have kids, but I want kids, so if she already has one or two, it would be a bonus.

    I would just be really cautious about getting close to the kid, because if it didn’t work out, I’d feel bad if the kid got attached, then hurt.” “I think it would be a pain.

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