I believe that marriage teaches men responsibility, structure, how to co-define reality, what women want and how to put someone else before themselves.
I have giggled to myself and so very much appreciated the little things that divorced men I have dated have done for me.
So bear in mind that your date’s ex-wife will be in the picture while you are dating him.
They may need to speak often about their children and arrangements for care.
___A woman who goes by the name “Lucky” responded to one of my Single Dad Wants posts with a moving and impassioned comment that’s too long to reprint here (scroll down for it). Your man, your divorced dad, is lucky to have someone so understanding.
As I was writing my response, I realized I was writing my next post about relationships. And while I only have limited experience with being on the dad’s side, I do have a little knowledge of what you speak.
In a first date you are trying to make an impression.
Put the kids first Your new man’s kids will always come first to him, so don’t try to compete for his affection.
Even if you’re thrilled about the prospect of meeting them, be aware that you need to be the one to fit into their lives, not the other way around.
I have witnessed this many times and men have openly shared with me that they would love to be married again one day and “make it right this time.” I have dated divorced men who have acknowledged that they spent a great deal of time building their businesses during their marriages and they wish they had been more romantic or listened more or had brought their wives flowers more often or had been more complimentary to their spouses. There are many divorced men out there who have taken the time to work on themselves and their mistakes after their marriage ended and have a new-found commitment to making things right the next time around.
Ladies, as much as we love men (and, I really do), we want to acknowledge that they can often mature, grow up and find their way in a relationship a bit more slowly than women do.